Book of my past

This is a small poem - not like so called poem - just the feeling of mine when I went through the book of my past. Sorry to all the poets.

Went through the book of my past,

was a long time since I had opened it last.

Wasn’t like before, some pages had torn,

with tears in my eyes, I realized the time had long gone

Read the lines written by my friends,

tried to remember those wonderful days.

Had a memory of those days like the scent of fresh paint,

Caring, loving, playing, learning, and fighting-how we went

Crowned me with a name at that time,

Never I liked it when they teased me time to time.

Now I try to remember calling me with that name

Though I still hate that name, my nick name

Everyone, in my book, had advised me to be good,

I’ll go forth and do what I need and should

Miss you all and hope to meet you soon,

Coz the world’s so small, but wonder how you look

Happy Mother's Day

I am sitting here what to write next on my blog, and a thought clicked in my head. Today's Happy Mother's Day. Why not write about mothers.

There would be no creature who don't love their creator, most adorable person of life........mother. She is no less powerful than God. She bears pain to give us the life. She cares us more than anything. She protects us from being harmed. She nurtures us to make us healthy. She teaches us the way of life. She is the only one who knows and understand us more than anyone else in our life. She works hard so that we don't have to struggle. She sacrifices for us to have everything. She can bear any extent of pain for us.

Whatever she does, she does for our happiness. No words can define her, her deeds, her pain, and mostly her love-her wonderful love.

Oh! mother, I've gone astray, gone on the way you did not wanted me to go but I still know whatever I become, wherever I'll be, you'll always love me. I love you too, Mom. Happy Mother's Day.

What if............................??

Hey guys, you have watched many movies and will continue to watch more. What if it was possible to live in the movie you are watching, which one it would be??

Cooked for the first time

Last week, I was alone in my uncle's house. Its very nice to be alone in the house for different reasons but one of the problem for me is the food. I don't know how to cook our daily meal and I don't want to try too coz it comes in my boring things to do list. hehe. But to live, I need to eat. I went to hotel to fulfill my hunger and it was very pricey. I thought why pay so much. So only thing left for me to do was cooking.

Oh! how the hell I am going to cook, I don't know, I've never tried. Though many hurdles, I decided to cook for myself. With what I've heard from someone, I lit up the gas and put myself to test. I was successful to cook rice, it was easy. Don't have knowledge about cooking cereals, and decided to cook gravy curry. I cooked it with potato and onions. It took time, but with patience I finished it. It was not looking nice like before. It didn't taste so good, something was missing. But I enjoyed eating the food that I cooked for the first time in my life. It was fun cooking, more like chemistry. Oh! washing the dishes, so many, its not fun at all, no not at all.

What I See??

Till now, I have expressed what ever comes in my mind and just put it in the blog with out caring that the grammar rules exist. Its freedom, I guess. No one look for that, they look for the depth of the content, the thinking of the person. But I'll try not to make grammatical mistakes or anything else of which I am not conscious about right now.

I have been thinking a lot and lot. The different day's experience made me so. One incident as told to me by a friend, a saint like person came to his college/school and showed them a glass, half filled with water. He explained that the person who sees the glass half filled is optimistic and who sees half empty is pessimistic. Then my friend asked him, what if person sees both. The answer was 'Loser'. Then he asked if the saint was the one. I don't know why he asked that question. I asked myself, as I know glass is half filled and half empty, am I loser too. If its true then more the knowledge more looser you are.

But I am not a Looser. And I guess no one is in his/her own view.

Stupid tester

I was stumbling and got to give test on how much i am stupid, i was average. Guys u can also try it to see how smart u r. Hehehe....

February still runnin on March

Last weekend, they were being teased. The Saturday night, SMS-give and take process went for long and the clever cupid shot arrows of love to both of them. Next day, afternoon, they went to date - could not believe at all Coz it was going to fast. Later gather up to feel awkward, and just look each others face and laugh. when she was out, asked him what happened. "Nothing, we talked about general things and sometime we were in silence" he answered.

"So, did you hold each others hands?"
Nice smile and "We are taking it slow."
"So , did you say I love you?"
Again smiling and "We are taking it Slow."
"OK, Fine"
Burst into laugh.

I thought becoz of our teasing, they had built up something for themselves but i was wrong again. They had the feelings for each other before and were feeling hard to express and they needed just a push to start, so we did that, didn't we guys"

P.S.: One bro was thinking about another girl and only knew who she was on the day of date.

You should sing it together this song....

I feel it in my finger
I feel it in my toe.....

Love is all around by wet wet wet

Thoughts, crazy thougths..........mine

I always want to pour out my feelings in front of everyone so they won't have any problem to understand me. But I can't express with the appropriate words and sometimes making others to think different than what I want to tell. Guess I have to learn to express too. And my friends are always helping me to master it. As I have started about my friends, they are really cool and unique. Don't know the exact definition of friend, but I can tell that without friends, we don't exist.

Life-thought it is pain, simply pain giving me a damn headache, but as usual, I understood it very wrong. A thought just clicked in my mind, I have lot of problems-others have too-but still I think of my closed ones and try to solve their problems or compassionate them in their sorrows. I felt very good about it and my life.

Photo shoot

Getting Ready

Dare to Stare

I am coming to get 'U'

Ambitious

"Tara Baji Lai Lai"

At first I was in confusion,when my fren told me about it(only its name and venue of the show). I thought it was a documentary show, later, the day before the show, I found out it was a drama. And the expectation of having a nice time went in air. Its all because it was my first time to watch a drama. Still, I went to watch it with my frens. Reaching there, only I knew, it was organized by LEO CLUB of Chabahil. Like this, many things happen in my life in last moment, and all because of my "don't care" attitude. So, the drama started. In brief if i have to tell u about it then its all about the student life. Though the characters did not change as of their ages, they portrayed the different stage of student life, all the happy, sad and learning moments and what i did not see was the depth of friendship which is the most important part of life (its only my view, I can be wrong in interpreting it). The drama was humorous which obviously made me and others laugh a lot but with that it made me remember my old school days. Most of act in it reflected my school days. Over all, the drama was a hit.

The moral of the drama, as one of my fren told me, is there are different moments in ur life, but u have to learn to live (may be close to what he recited).

Remembering the hiking: Lakuri Bhanjyang

Was going thru the pictures in network of my workplace recently, saw the pictures of Lakuri Bhanjyang - Hiking. Felt very nice remembering the time spent their with frens. It was my second visit. And boy! it was awesome: AWESOME

Lakuri Bhanjyang, its a paradise. Its about an hour long to reach the bottom known as Sisneri from Gwarko. We reached there around 9 am. Have some chilli chana, egg, tea. Then started the hiking with a local guy, Surendra, guiding us up through the tough climbing (not so tough, but i like to call it tough). All the way up, we enjoyed and certainly took rest for sometime, though most of us were like "How am i going to continue???", the air, the trees, the view, and the togetherness of all made us go further.

We went to the Tower which was not completely made and was very hard to reach there coz the path was too steep. The view from there made us forget all our pain and burden for while. We went to fulfill our tummy's request, the dal bhat, saag, achar, it was like tasty feast for us, we did not wait for anything, just digged in.

Our last destination at the top was the resort up in the hill. A small walk to that place and we were there. It was open, could see all the hills and plains from there without any hindrance (oh there was one i dont know what its called) it was blocking all the view. Actually, three districts, kathmandu, lalitpur, bhaktapur, can be seen. Bad luck for us that day, were not able to see all. Still satisfied with the little view that was seen.

Everyone was tired, i remember how most of us lay down on the ground for some time, it was relaxing.

The hardest part for me i think, coming down part, my leg was shivering due to weakness. oh very hard to come down. When we reached the resort down in sisneri, felt like (no words to describe). Took rest and were ready for the campfire in the evening. Drank, ate, forgot all the pain in our body, played different games. Sekuwa, sab dardeko, tehi pani khaiyo, mitho-tito. khana ta kasaile pani ramrari khaena kyare. then the dancing, all were dancing, headbanging of sugam, dance of nitish all of a sudden, bishal and anjesh awastha. Surprise bday cake (suppose to be).

The time before sleeping, the act of some guys. All ended up good, coz all were good.

Irresponsible-who? him no its me.........

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend. We were talking about our common fren. I called him irresponsible, lazy -more than me. I know he is but not much like me. Today, it was Nepal Banda (Nepal Closed), have to catch the office vehicle to get to office. Last night, I thought I can get up in time and catch it. So started to watch the movies on cable, it was a nice movie called "Out Of Sight", many times i did not understand the plot still i enjoyed it. After it finished, i started surfing the cable, did not find any good one and the surfing went on till midnight..and thought i would go sleep but for one more hour i started the loop. put alarm in my cell. This morning i woke up and looked at the watch, i realized i just missed the van, shit.........!!!!!! then my inner voice started to curse me again, boy now take ur punishment, walk boy, walk to office and it was far very far. So i walked. I was wearing winter clothes as it was not summer yet, oh! it was hot, but i reached my office though late i reached. And in my mind, i realized i am more irresponsible and lazy not him. Its so funny. Again new lesson in my life.

Student Concession-r they worthy to have it????

Last time I was returning to my home, the conductor of the bus came asked for the fare. As usual I gave him 2o box and said got card though I don't have one. He asked for the card, I gave him the old one thinking he would not know that it has expired as it was in AD. "Busted!!!!!" But to my dismay, he found it out and asked for more fare but i tried to convince him that the new one is in the process of making. He was in no mood to let me go. and without arguing i gave the rest of the fare. I was not like this before, I would not have done before, but new day always makes you different. I was embarrassed, cursed the conductor but with my inner voice. When I reached my place and was about to get down, he looked at me like he had win the great war, with pride. I hated him very much very much. Later that night, i thought about it, i found myself wrong and he was just doing his job, i asked for forgiveness for what i did, felt guilty and said to myself "ok! boy, you would not do such things again, u would not cheat anyone" then i answered "ok".

The next day, as i told the incident to my cousin, he said "hey bro, give me ur photo, I ll make you a fake card" then i said, "right now, i don't have it. will give next time". See how fast i forgot my promises, and was ready to cheat again.

And yesterday, when i was returning home from my office in a micro, as reached near my destination, the conductor kid, have foul language but told the untold thing which is still hitting in my mind, he asked me, "why do these students need concession for roaming and having fun, the concession should be given to the people who do labor work day and nite just to feed once in a day??" I was speechless, just gave him a smile but was in deep think what should be done. He was asking the wrong guy i think.

The big question to me is that will i give my photo to my cousin or not???????????

Party, Party - it was Party

Partying was not one of my liking before. It was may be I was not able to interact with people, feeling shy as I am a shy guy, but yesterday evening, wow! I could not believe, I was partying like hell. It was the b'day party of two frens, lucky them. I danced though I had forgotten how to dance well. I don't have that special moves but I danced with all the effort. I was feeling good, not feeling shy, and one thing I hadn't drank much. Not only me all my frens were enjoying the party. Everyone was in good mood. The party ended in that place but continued it with some of us in our fren house. The night was to be remembered, will remember and hope all the frens will as we enjoyed a lot in our own ways.

I think the presence of my friends give me the strength to party.

YTC - A Place to change yourself

Yesterday, I was there, Youth Telecenter (YTC), two boys studying in bachelors heard something about it before from one of our powerful, intellectual, (don't have more words to define her) friend. They came to check out what's it all about. I explained them about what its all about and what we do. But i think, i was mumbling repeating same thing again and again. I hope they had understood me. Still i feel the conversation lacked the essence, the need of YTC. "Nobody is perfect" taking this in my mind, hey i at least tried my best to make them understand. May be now I can write whats it all about.

One of fren, who is the co-founder of the forum, went to ITU-conference in spain(i think), and he came up with the idea of "Better Nepal", an organization run by the youth of Nepal to use ICT as a tool of development when we were in bachelors. That time, I took it as granted, and didn't think about it very much. Later, I heard due to lack of ICT tools and time, they could not go ahead and have to drop idea. All the efforts went to vain, i thought.

After finishing the degree in 2005, my one year became unproductive in searching jobs that to with out any interest. In betweens i heard from him to join the forum as he had started it again with the same agenda but this time as a forum. But again i did not gave my brain any shock about it. But then it was too much. I don't have a job for a year, i was not studying due to some personnel problem. My mind was dull. I took a big decision to join the forum as i have to shift to next city.

-----First day in the forum-----

I was totally dull and don't have anything in my mind, whats going to happen, what will i be doing?? I met my friend and he invited me as he was very generous and kind. Where am I??? was the big question in my mind, as i attended the ongoing meetings of youth. I just listened to the great ideas to do some youth festival to mark World Youth Day. They were great really great. All seem to be very active, full of different ideas. Oh! my god.... what am i?? what can i do here?? why am i here?? I thought what ability do i have?? I will not be able to do work here. It was out of my interest as i was and am interested in technology. I didn't feel any need of the experience i would get there. I came to know its name was "Youth Information Center" aiming to provide platforms to youth to share and gain knowledge for their own development in turn developing our nation. Its a high profile aim, i felt. Though i felt out of league, as i like to accept challenges, i felt i will try to do my best to work there.

I came across different things there, the vast change too. Youth Information Center was changed to Youth Telecenter with broader and specific objective. Now it was supported by South Asia Nepal(SAP-N), South Asia Partnership International(SAP-I) and Bellanet as it was supported by SAP-N before.

Its eight months now i have joined. I found a drastic change in myself. Before i was shy, dull not much, could not speak in front of mass and many more but now the talent in me is coming to life. But still I need to progress coz i think "I am a learner till I die, need more".

YTC and my friend was with me in my high time and low, I need to be with it in its high time and its low. If not of them, I would be in different place, doing different thing that would not fit in my life. Its a place to change yourself-inside out.

Valentine's Day Gift from God

14 th Feb, time:around 2 pm, God also was happy about the valentine day or the earth's climate is changing, i was in both happiness and fear of what's going to happen next?? "It Snowed for few time" in Khumaltar, Kathmandu, where my office is located. In my whole life, it was the first time to see snowfall that to live-infront of me. "WoW" Though the snow gets watered as it hits the ground, the moment to be covered with little ice was also a great feeling for me. But i wondered why did it happened, is something drastic change is going to happen in our climate as one of my senior said "it happened after 52 long years". What could be the reason for it? but i don't want to know the answer as i was happy with the feeling of having snowfall live. May be it was a gift from god to me in this day of valentine-my first ever gift.

Irresponsible and taking everything for granted

Me, I don't have a very good family background though privileged. I know what i should do and what i should not. But still i am irresponsible and take everything for granted. Every time due to my lack of responsibility if something goes wrong, I start to complain myself-why are you like this, you could have done better than this, you could have make someones day. Then i start to promise myself to be responsible, to make things better- i feel good. I start to be responsible and work hard and you know the same loop start again-forget the things i promised myself and start over again. Today, something same like this happened, I complained, felt bad, promised and here i am to write my today's feeling in this blog. Oh ! God make me responsible and hard working fellow, but i know its me who can do that, not even him-he is there to show the way, me to follow, i am waiting for myself to follow the path. so the question is can i follow???

A New Day but still feel Lazy

Its always a new day. Same regular stuff. Wake up, brush teeth, wash your face, drink tea, get ready for office, same work in office, try to learn new things, chat with friends, go home, load shedding, watch T.V. eat and go to sleep to get up next day. Next day, a new day, but feel lazy to do those regular stuff. Oh! I wish I could do something else, have no responsibility, fly like bird, just go out, run like hell.